107 Comments

An excellent essay that so many people would benefit from reading. Not only is it an inspiring personal story of overcoming adversity, it’s also an astute refutation of the “brain-disease model of mental illness” – a psychiatric fiction that‘s preventing millions of people from improving their lives. Thanks for writing it, and please write more!

Expand full comment

Beautifully written, Christina, though I’m sorry for all those harrowing experiences. I’m so glad you’re writing a book about this.

Expand full comment

Hear hear.

Expand full comment

A profound and moving essay, Christina. Thanks for your brilliance and insights and for harnessing your proclivities toward fixation on minutiae on a proud intellectual endeavor! I'm proud to call you a friend.

Expand full comment

Fixation has been made into a psychiatric symptom, but there's no human progress possible without individuals being intensely interested in a particular subject. If Albert Einstein was in school today, he'd be medicated.

Expand full comment

Correction, not "medicated", but "put on psych drugs"..... There is NO "medical" condition....just excuses for PhRMA to $ELL DRUG$....

Expand full comment

I don’t see the distinction between medication and drugs. There is no rule which says medication always has to be safe and effective, which is why every drug comes with a lot of small-print warnings.

Expand full comment

I’ve always admired people who could be so fixated on one thing and really excel at it.

Expand full comment

Christina, as a parent with a child lost in the trans madness, I cannot find the words to express what you and Colin mean to us. As you are well-aware, the last few years have meant silent suffering for so many parents who are drowning in a flood of sadness. Thanks to you, Colin and others in this space, we have hope.

You may sometimes feel that you are just commenting on cultural and medical issues, which for the overall population are just part of a broad array of issues that we deal with in life. But for the cohort of parents caught in this, we have had to watch our children essentially getting ripped out of our care. It's THE issue we face every day -- not just one of many.

If you are ever find yourself battling mental demons that are haunting you into feeling worthless, aimless or anything remotely similar, please know that your work has been the source of untold hope and comfort to those otherwise facing an agonizing daily struggle.

And even with the crumbling house of cards that is the trans world these days, we still need you and Colin. Never doubt that you have a purpose in life. I would describe you as a medic on a battlefield, administering aid to wounded soldiers while still under heavy fire. Thank you so much.

Expand full comment

There's a puzzling line in the Bible where Jesus is about to heal a blind man, but first asks him "Do you wish to be made well?"

I read that over and over until I realized I was being asked the same question about my depression. I believed that it was inalienable from me, and used it as a way to garner sympathy, make excuses for poor behavior, and avoid seeking help. This article beautifully resonates that.

Expand full comment

Speaking of the Bible, "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me" (Phil. 4:13) is a very powerful scripture that gives agency to those who embrace a Christian faith perspective. This mindset was instrumental in overcoming my own experiences with depression.

Expand full comment

Very moving essay, Christina. I am not a psychologist or psychiatrist , so this is just my opinion: I think in addition to the "brain disease model," the problem is that many young people are embarrassed to feel happy. They see sadness as a badge of honor, a sign that one is a good, conscientious person. Hence, they may lack motivation to get better. Not to mention that depression becomes something to bond over with others. Same with transgender identity - many cling to the "biological destiny" idea because they are afraid to look and discover themselves outside of their current reference group.

Expand full comment

Although well-intended, kids are taught a curriculum of systematic oppression, racism, and patriarchy. There’s no worse status than being the quarterback/cheerleader, prom king/queen, blue eyed, wealthy white kid. All of those things are linked to privilege. The ridiculous (but chosen) solution is to get some victim credentials….trans, depressed, anxious, self harm (superficial cuts), suicide attempt (5 Tylenol), bisexual (hetero acting).

Expand full comment

I am not sure about the “well-intended” part anymore but otherwise agree

Expand full comment

I relate to this so much. I went through some similar mental health issues and got dx with Asperger’s/ Autism as an adult.

When I fully accepted I have agency over my life, my trajectory and how I experience my emotions (do I become reactive or do I make the choice that I can feel a certain way and move on) my whole life changed.

I am a profoundly different person and the way I make sense of the world is objectively healthier.

Thank you for sharing all this.

I believe that those of who were once on the far left and have had a shift in our worldview are really important in reaching those who currently still there- not the deeply entrenched but the people who are just kinda going along with it all. We are able to lens swap and speak to the concerns they have, while showing some of the flaws and contradictions in their framework.

Expand full comment

Fascinating and revealing.

The whole notion of "locus of control" is so very important. This is related to the notion of the "Culture of Victimhood" a book from 2014. The Culture of Victimhood is a view of value in society. Today's youth follow the CoV. In this culture, the only thing that matters is the group that you identify with, and the lower value this group has, the higher the status that members have. So, the trans (hated by everyone) have a high value, blacks have a high value, and white persons, esp white males who are sexually normal, have the lowest value.

This is related to LoC because your value has nothing to do with your abilities, accomplishments, or skills, and everything to do with the group that you belong to. As such, the LoC is entirely external for all persons who follow the moral hierarchies of the CoV. Some organized religions, such as Catholicism, have the fatalistic view that all humans are damned from birth, and can only gain salvation by a gift from a dead guy.

The CoV replaced the Culture of Dignity, which is the Culture that came out of the Enlightenment. The CoD emphasizes individual skill, sees individuals as having inherent worth, and views accomplishment as the manner in which low status persons grow. The LoC is internal.

This is also related to the Stoic mindset. In Stoicism, you are responsible for your own person, and not for others. If you adopt a Stoic mindset, you adopt an internal locus of control and develop an agency mindset.

Expand full comment

Thank you for such an honest and thought provoking essay. Too much faith is being given to the mental health industry and their burgeoning diagnoses, caches of medication and lifelong therapies. You give hope and belief in yourself.

Expand full comment

First of all, a most unscientific "phew!". What a story. Many thanks for sharing such a personal, often harrowing, but wonderfully positive personal story.

My 32-year-old son was diagnosed with ADHD when he was a teenager, then the many therapists he saw over the years diagnosed him as clinically depressed, anxious, autistic, and more.

He's had an incredibly hard time over the years. He couldn't hold down a job or romantic relationship, continually mistrusts people who love him and perpetually identifies himself as a mentally ill person.

There are times of light, and he can talk about his "condition" in a layman's way, plus he's a very talented pianist and composed music. It's when he's music and musicians that he's most happy. Still, because of bouts of depression and anxiety, where he doesn't leave the house for weeks, he find it difficult to maintain his place in the numerous bands he's joined. Paranoia and mistrust take over.

This is the first time I've written about him in this way.

Again, many thanks Christina for sharing.

Expand full comment

Thank you for this honest and important essay. I am 65 and autistic. I am deeply grateful that I was largely ignored by those in charge during high school. It makes me nauseous to think about what would have happened to me had adults decided I needed "treatment". I was blessed with a mother who always had my back, some random adults who were wise and saw my potential, some serious divine intervention during three different suicide attempts, and a couple of good therapists.

What made a huge difference was that through it all I did believe I had choices and control, even if it was just getting out of bed. One foot in front of the other, and if I am going to be miserable, I might as well show up for work and get paid were incredibly helpful strategies.

I am healthily, happy and have beautiful life now.

Expand full comment

Speaking as a trauma therapist, I believe that the only true use for psychiatric “diagnosis” is the corresponding CPT/ICD code that is used to file a claim for reimbursement. That’s it.

Expand full comment

In fact, the DSM is nothing more than a catalog of billing codes. EVERYTHING in the DSM was either invented or created. NOTHING in the DSM was discovered. Think about that....

Expand full comment

And as several accounts have shown, the process of DSM "disease/condition creation" is intensely political. In particular, the Gender Dysphoria classification as a "variation" rather than a "disease/disorder" was heavily influenced by activists.

Expand full comment

Robert Spitzer was the chair of the DSM-Ill task force and Allen Frances the same for DSM-IV. Both were very critical of the final products and frequently criticize DSM-V.

Expand full comment

Echoing a few other commentators, there are true brain diseases like Strokes, Alzheimer’s, meningitis, etc. Some serious mental health disorders like Schizophrenia do seem based upon a mis-wiring of the brain that occurs in adolescence. But yes, normal emotions like Anxiety and Melancholy are pathologized. We ignore data that shows that regular intensive exercise works as well as drugs. Thanks for the detailed, honest essay.

Expand full comment

Profound essay and moving writing. I never read your articles before but I am so glad I did now

Expand full comment

I am sorry for all the pain. Glad you are sharing.

Expand full comment

This is so damn insightful, I’m so grateful you shared your story.

Expand full comment